All marriages experience ups and downs, and most married people will admit they’ve gone through periods when they started to wonder whether their husband or wife was truly the right partner for them. Yet how can you tell when your doubts are due to more than just a transitory bad patch?
Knowing What You Want
It’s important to understand what you want, and to think about whether or not it is possible to create that within your current marriage, or whether you feel you need to leave in order to achieve it.
Try seeing divorce as a way of moving towards what you do want in life, rather than as a way of escaping what you don’t. In the event that you do go for a divorce, this will mean that your decision is coming from a more positive place of self-care, and will mean your mind will be clear about the new direction you wish to take your life in.
A More Loving Relationship
If you’re feeling unloved, consider the possibility of you and your partner being able to re-connect and re-build that loving relationship.
- Does this seem a realistic goal?
- Have you tried talking about your feelings with your partner?
- Are they willing to work with you to improve your connection?
The answers may be yes, or may be no – either way, knowing will help you decide whether divorce is the right option.
Better Mental Health
If you’re considering divorcing your partner because you feel your mental or even physical health is suffering by staying with them, it’s a good idea to ask yourself questions about whether you can reach better mental health whilst remaining married.
- Does your partner understand what you are struggling with?
- Is your partner struggling with their own mental health issues, such as anger problems, addictions, depression, etc?
- Can you see a way of reaching greater health together?
If you have tried to improve the situation but nothing seems to be working, or if your partner is acting in an emotional or physically abusive way towards you, divorce may be the best way for you to move forward into better health.
When the Love has Gone
Deciding to get a divorce is never pleasant. Even when both partners know it’s for the best, it can still be a painful process, and can often leave people with a sense of bereavement. How do you know when it’s time to say those difficult words: ‘This isn’t working’?
There is no straight-forward method for being able to gauge whether divorce is the right decision, yet perhaps the most important question to ask yourself is: ‘Is there still love in this relationship?’ If the answer is yes, divorce may not be the right solution at this stage; there may still be a chance to work things out.
However, if the answer is no, and if you’re seriously considering starting a relationship with another person, or if you feel that you want to live on your own, that may mean it’s time to say goodbye. When do you know it’s time for a divorce? That is when.
The good news is that there are lots of great single men and women out there just waiting for you! So take a deep breath and see what you may have been missing this whole time.
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